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Scheduled Intimacy

Has anybody else heard the saying, “It’s better to have scheduled intimacy than to not have it at all?”


I had never heard of scheduling sex with your spouse until we went to premarital class at our church! A lot of the counselors over our class are parents to one or more children and or have busy lives due to their careers. They mentioned that if they don’t schedule it in, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. FOR WEEKS! WTH? Lol!


That was just the most foreign thing to me! Scheduled intimacy?! How can that be intimate, romantic, or sexy in the least bit? One of the ladies said that because it was scheduled that it made sex more exciting! That she had something that she could look forward to at the end of the night when their kids went to their grandma’s house.





Well, this weekend, my best friend, Peatrice came in town to surprise us and to meet our friend Destiny’s newest edition, Olivier. (Who is just the cutest little thing!) A few hours after she made it to our house, she ended up going on a date and Franklin & I decided to make it a “Redbox & Chill” night! So we got dressed and started to plan what we were going to buy from Walmart to snack on while we watched our free Redbox rental.


As I’m putting my shoes on Franklin asks, “Do you think that since we have company tonight that we can pencil that in after we get back from Walmart, before we watch the movie?” And then he threw out the good ol’, “It’s better to have it scheduled than to not have it at all.” That caught me completely off guard, but hell, I was game. Why not?


That made our trip to Walmart that much more fun!


Surprisingly, having it planned didn’t take away from the intimacy of it. However, I do feel like if we were to schedule it out like “every other Friday we’ll for sure have sex,” that it will become like a chore. Less enjoyable. But that’s just my opinion. We’ve never tried it.


I can definitely see how scheduled intimacy could be helpful to our relationship, though. We’re both trying to run our own business and I’m about to start a new full time job on top of that!


Even if we don’t actually schedule out exact days and times, we could actually decide not to go more than 3 days without it! We just may have to take our counselors’ advice!


Making sure we get it in!


But that’s the future talking! Maybe when we start having babies it’ll be necessary, but until then, I’m gonna continue to enjoy the spontaneity of having sex with my husband!


Do you have to schedule sex with your significant other? What was one of the driving forces in this decision? If you don’t schedule sex with your partner, would you ever consider it? Why or why not?


And as always, if you have any questions for me, put them down in the comments and I’ll definitely answer them for you!


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